This feels good and it feels right. The weather is beautiful and I’m hanging outside with my friend as I type this. She’s working remotely off of her computer and I’m unemployed working off my laptop. I don’t have a source of income and haven’t worked in over a year.

I was a freelance photographer for about 15 years and saved enough money to last me a year and my bank account is running low. In a way, I had a dream job... I worked twice a week for 7 months and traveled the other 5. I bounced around from apartment to apartment in NYC on monthly sublet agreements and when my working season was over, I’d take off until it was time to return. In a way, I felt like I was retired. It’s not like I made a lot of money by traditional standards…I was able to support myself but it wouldn’t be enough to sustain another life or fund retirement. Fortunately, I didn’t and still don’t require much.

I’m pretty content with just about anything. I can wear the same clothes for months on end, sleep in a tent and boom, I’m barely spending a penny. One thing I spend money on is food. I love food and I nourish myself quite well. Other than that, I only spend money for necessities; flights, transportation, etc… I feel like this is turning into a “how to travel on a budget blog” and I guess this is how it happens when you free write. I will leave a comment section below and if you are interested in this and would like to hear more, I will gladly supply you with more information on how to do that, but for now, I’m staying present…

My bank account is running low and I’m pressed to make money. I’m at a turning point…spend my time and energy working for money or pursuing my interests, write about it and make a living. Last year, after a Vipassana meditation retreat, I declared to quit my job and move forward into the unknown. A deep desire of mine has been to make my work my life. I love working and I love spending my energy doing fulfilling things that resonate deeply within. I’m not here to make money or to “make something of myself.” I don’t have it in me. Simply put, I’m not driven to succeed in that way. The thing that propels me forward, the driving force in my life, the thing I’m focused on is healing. For the sake of generalization and being straightforward, I had C-PTSD and am in recovery for addiction…I suffer and seek cessation… 

Secondarily, I’m an artist. I have a creative mind and my site will be a fusion of the two. My hopes are that my visitors will find value, refuge and connection within the experiences and resources I share. Knowing me, the content I publish will vary from deep dark stories to fun outlandish irrelevant subject matter, to random ideas I have…

Thank you for joining me on this journey through my first journal entry. Wishing you all the best until we meet again…

Alex