Resistance vs. Fear: Understanding the Key to Inner Peace and Growth

I can’t remember where I heard this, but someone once said that force and anxiety are intertwined—that which is forced inevitably creates anxiety.

It’s taking that job out of fear of not having money. It’s buying that car you don’t really want but feel like you need. It’s chasing after someone when everything inside you knows they’re not meant for you.

The truth is, when something is met with resistance—whether internal or external—it’s a sign. Resistance isn’t random; it’s your body, your intuition, or even the situation itself telling you, this isn’t meant to be. But instead of listening, we often push harder, thinking more force will make things better. It doesn’t.

Resistance is different from fear, though. Fear should be confronted. Fear often lies at the edge of growth—it challenges us to expand, to face what’s uncomfortable so we can move forward. Resistance, on the other hand, is a warning. It tells us to stop, to honor the block instead of bulldozing through it. Forcing through resistance doesn’t lead to healing or progress—it only creates more tension and pain.

Take a fight, for example. When resistance arises and isn’t addressed, what happens? It escalates. Resistance met with force creates chaos, just as it does in our lives when we ignore its signals.

Life doesn’t have to be so hard. It’s easy when we take the path of least resistance. When we stop struggling, stop forcing, and simply let things flow, life feels lighter, simpler. But why is that so difficult? Why do we insist on enforcing our will upon the world? Why do we struggle?

Because letting go of struggle means doing something we’ve likely never done before: surrendering control. Allowing ourselves to be guided by another force—something bigger, something unknown. That’s terrifying. It means relying on something other than ourselves. But maybe that’s where the magic happens.

When something isn’t forced, when there’s no resistance, it flows. It feels natural. It brings grace and happiness. So why do we keep forcing things that make us miserable?

Take social media, for example. I hate it. I hate the way it feels. It’s like a cheap drug—scrolling, posting, liking, waiting for likes—it’s empty, hollow, and addictive. But it’s not just social media. It’s my phone. The whole thing feels terrible.

People have panic attacks when they leave their phones at home. But it’s bigger than just phones. Look at the wars happening all over the world. Wars require force—an immense amount of it. People fighting each other, trying to control outcomes, feeding into anxiety on a global scale.

What if we had the courage to stop? To notice the resistance and honor it instead of fighting against it? What if we faced our fears but let go of what’s not meant to be? What if we surrendered to life and trusted in something greater?

It’s not easy. I know that. I catch myself pushing against a cement wall, convincing myself that maybe, this time, it’ll finally give way.

But it doesn’t.

Anxiety thrives on control—control this, control that. There’s no joy in it. No freedom. Imagine if we just let go. What if we surrendered and lived in faith instead?

The other day, I remembered how much fun it used to be to get scared as a kid. Fear back then wasn’t paralyzing—it was thrilling. It made me laugh. As an adult, fear has become this weight, this thing to avoid at all costs. But maybe it doesn’t have to be. Maybe fear, like surrender, can be a doorway to something greater.

So, what if we stopped? What if we let go of the need to force, to control, to shove against walls that won’t move? What if we paid attention to the resistance we feel—whether it’s internal or something we perceive outside ourselves—and honored it for what it is: a signal that something isn’t okay?

And what if, at the same time, we faced the fears that keep us small—the ones that dare us to grow and change? Resistance is a guide to stop, but fear is a challenge to move forward. Both are essential.

What’s one thing you’re forcing right now? Maybe it’s time to let it go. What’s one fear you’re avoiding? Maybe it’s time to face it.