Children on the dance floor
Last night, I attended a Fourth of July party in Green Point, Brooklyn. The DJs were great, and the night kicked off swiftly. My friend Tito and I arrived around 8:30 after I drove us there. Finding street parking proved to be a challenge, but after an hour of searching, we finally secured a spot.
Tito and I decided to microdose peyote, take a bit of MDMA, and have a sprinkle of Ketamine. Once a year, I find myself dancing while under the influence of these substances. For me, their use triggers my being to go into healing mode. “Healing mode” is not fun. It’s work and it’s usually a difficult and uncomfortable experience especially in a public setting.
Most people look like they are on similar substances so this particular environment isn’t a bad or unsafe setting, but it’s not a private one. Out of 200 people, I only crossed paths with one obnoxious drunk. I used to get obnoxious so I was able to feel bad for him rather then get annoyed.
Dancing alone already possesses therapeutic qualities, but combined with entheogens, it can grow deeper. As I move, I can sense the medicine integrating into my bloodstream and cells, resulting in a complete embodiment experience. I find this process highly therapeutic, as it enables healing to permeate every cell. I love getting in tune with my cells. I can feel them sparkle and come alive and radiate like a city skyline, all vibrating harmoniously. They know I recognize them, and I know they recognize me. We are a team, or rather they are the billion little Alex’s that make up the one Alex. They are smart, very, very smart. They are the builders of my life. They make my life possible. I am grateful for these little friends.
Throughout the night, my body gradually built up momentum. The more effort I exerted, the more energy I received. I am an electromagnetic force. While the substances undoubtedly aided this process, they alone were not enough. I realized this later in the night when, thanks to my dancing effort, I began to have novel experiences that were previously inaccessible to my mind and being.
This journey reminded me of Kundalini Yoga, where exerting all your strength and energy without surrendering, pushing harder even when you want to quit, eventually leads to breakthroughs and profound release. Dancing operates similarly. As my energy surged, my ego dissolved, the music reverberated, and my body vibrated. Suddenly, I felt childlike energy coursing through me. I’m free. Have you ever observed children running around and dancing? They’re acting on impulse and have the best time being out of their minds. They are unaware of self.
While dancing, I felt love bubbling up—a love I hadn't felt in a long time. It was reminiscent of the freedom children possess, where social constructs hold no power-no one is a stranger, and interactions involve silly faces and meaningless conversations that reside in the moment. Children don’t give a shit, and that's why they have the most fun. It’s not that we are old that prevents us from letting loose, it’s out mentality.
The message, "Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven," began to resonate within. In case you don’t know, that’s a Jesus quote. I’m not religious, have never read the bible but Jesus stuff always appears in my mind.
I left the dance floor and spent a half-hour alone. I apologized to God and to myself for crafting my own version of who I am and what my life should be. I realized that my self-inflicted suffering stemmed from this self-created illusion. It became clear to me that God's love is unparalleled—it is the essence of everything, the beginning, and the end. It takes courage to love unconditionally. Capitalism and society has us chasing other shit though. It’s not that it’s evil, it’s out of ignorance.
Children aren’t seeking anything outside of themselves (before they experience hurt). They are love, overflowing with it. This love resides within all of us. This is the ultimate truth that countless people have expressed. "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles. They know what’s up. It’s cliche but true. Without this love, life loses its purpose—everything becomes meaningless. Living inauthentically stems from a lack of self-love. Thus, the path of one love, one heart, is the highest level of purpose on Earth. It’s to live in alignment with the truth. Can there be a higher purpose to journey onward than this?
