Journal

Thank you for visiting my journal. This is a collection of personal stories and essays that I’ve written, ranging from mystical experiences, to scabies (bastards but I actually miss them), to abortion, to addiction, to goat herding, to quantum physics, to walking 600 miles across Spain, to overcoming C-ptsd, to pickle ball.

Life has been an adventure into much mistake making. Creating, sometimes in the form of writing, assists me in the processing process. Reflecting and contemplating helps me to discover more of what may have been missed during the experience.

Alex Barbuto Alex Barbuto

Mitakuye Oyasin

Mitakuye Oyasin: The Wisdom of Oneness and Relationship

Mitakuye Oyasin, a Lakota phrase meaning "all my relatives" or "we are all related," teaches us about the interconnectedness of all life. It reminds us that every being—people, animals, plants, and even the earth—are bound together in a sacred web. By reflecting on our relationships with ourselves, others, and the world, we realize that true peace comes from embracing our unity with all existence. This understanding deepens healing and guides us toward greater self-awareness and harmony.

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Alex Barbuto Alex Barbuto

Novelty

Chasing Novelty: A Cycle of Escape and Exploration

In this introspective piece, Alex Barbuto explores the addictive pull of novelty—whether it’s new experiences, people, or desires. From indulging in ice cream to seeking new relationships, the drive for fresh encounters seems never-ending. Yet, Barbuto reveals that this chase may stem from an avoidance of deeper emotions and the fear of failure. Commitment, he suggests, might just be the antidote to this perpetual search. Can confronting grief and letting go bring true healing? This reflection digs into the tension between curiosity and confronting life’s harder truths.

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Invest $100 a Month for Your Kids’ Million-Dollar Future

Learn how investing just $100 a month can help your child build generational wealth. With the power of compounding and smart investments, your child could become a millionaire by age 40. Discover why financial literacy is crucial and how small, consistent contributions can change your family’s future for good.

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Love

"Love as the Great Destroyer: A Dialogue on Suffering and Transformation"

In this powerful philosophical dialogue, Alex and Love confront the paradoxes of love, suffering, and self-discovery. As Alex questions the nature of love, Love reveals itself not just as a nurturing force, but as the "great destroyer"—a transformative power that demands surrender and growth.

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Fighting & Sex

Fighting and Sex: Exploring Intimacy and Vulnerability

Fighting and sex, though vastly different, share a deep connection. Both require vulnerability, trust, and a willingness to be exposed. True intimacy in both fighting and sex comes from giving your all—mentally, physically, and emotionally. This raw, honest connection leads to profound understanding and respect. Whether in the ring or in the bedroom, intimacy forms when we stop holding back and show our true selves.

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I’m not ready

I work as a recovery coach in East Harlem, and one of the people I see often is Mr. Snuki—a small, elderly man battling homelessness and addiction. He’s a fixture in the neighborhood, always leaning on a fire hydrant. Over time, I grew fond of him, even naming him "Mr. Snuki" because of his quiet, stationary energy. I never spoke to him until one day outside my rehab, when I asked his name. “Puerto Rico,” he replied, his face full of quiet dignity. When I offered him treatment, he simply said, “I’m not ready.” A reminder that recovery happens on one's own timeline.

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In the mood to stream

Explore thoughts on addiction, the stigmas surrounding it, and the profound connections made through shared struggles. This stream-of-consciousness piece captures the beauty of vulnerability, the reality of addiction, and the human connections that shine through it all. Read more for an introspective journey into the heart of self-expression and empathy.

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Self

Explore the journey of self-discovery and healing through the lens of a Type 4 Enneagram personality. Dive deep into the quest for identity, grappling with attachment trauma and anxiety. This introspective narrative delves into the complexities of personal growth, offering insights into navigating relationships, overcoming inner turmoil, and embracing a path towards spiritual awareness. Join the journey of unraveling the self, finding resilience amidst challenges, and discovering profound truths about identity and healing.

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Alex Barbuto Alex Barbuto

GAZA CHRIS+ Preface

In a world often divided by narratives, it's crucial to remember our shared humanity. We all experience love and conflict within our families, just as people in Palestine and Israel do. By fostering empathy and seeking truth, we can rise above simplistic narratives and strive for understanding. Let’s confront uncomfortable realities and advocate for peace, justice, and dignity for all.

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God’s a capitalist

Discover the profound Eagle and Condor prophecy and its impact on human consciousness. Explore the contrasting forces of mind and heart, masculine and feminine, and material and spiritual. This thought-provoking prophecy foresees an extraordinary opportunity that arose in 1990, where the Eagle and Condor could unite, soar together, and ignite a profound shift in collective awareness. The potential lies in our hands, urging us to activate this transformative power and nurture a new consciousness.

Challenge the limitations of capitalism and its disharmony between mind and heart. Reflect on the desire to escape the system and live authentically from the heart. Explore the conflict between personal serenity and accepting the world as it is. Delve into the longing for freedom beyond money and systems, recognizing true freedom as the ability to control one's own mind.

Discover the interplay between technology and disconnection from reality, as well as the toxic allure of reliance on external devices. Question the role of capitalism in driving us towards a deeper understanding of our existence and the potential for societal transformation. Uncover the profound role of nature as the supplier of life, inviting a reciprocal relationship with Earth's unconditional generosity.

Embrace the ancient wisdom of the Eagle and Condor prophecy and its invitation to awaken, collaborate, and foster unity, compassion, and respect. By honoring diversity and recognizing our shared responsibility, we can manifest a new consciousness and pave the way for an enlightened, interconnected world. Unleash the power within to shape our own destiny and realize the transformative vision of this ancient prophecy.

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Children on the dance floor

Experience healing and freedom through dance and self-love. Combine entheogens with dancing for profound transformation. Embrace the childlike joy and unconditional love within. Find purpose in living authentically. Align with the truth of one love, one heart.

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Microdosing & Channeling

Unlock the transformative power within you through self-exploration and microdosing. Discover the profound impact of embracing vulnerability and embarking on a journey of healing. Witness the magic of a small dosage as it awakens your senses and reconnects you to the beauty of life. Break free from the confines of anxiety and depression, and step into a realm where every moment matters. Confront your past, make peace with it, and let go of the burdens that hold you back. Embrace the opportunity for rebirth and start anew, even when the path seems daunting. Experience the healing potential of psilocybin, where doses as small as .30 mg can lead to a profound shift in perspective. Embrace the complexities of mental illness and trauma, and understand that the journey to wholeness is a deeply personal one. You deserve to step into the light, to feel connected, and to find your place in this vast and beautiful world.

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Microdosing and yoga

Transformative Kaula yoga and micro-dosing combine for deep healing and relaxation. Join me on a journey to nurture well-being and energy release.

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Abortion

Abortion and quantum physics. Discover a poignant reflection on life, choices, and forgiveness. Follow the deeply personal journey of confronting past decisions and the weight of responsibility. Explore the transformative power of grief, forgiveness, and the embrace of cosmic flow. Gain a profound appreciation for the sanctity of existence and the indomitable force of the Divine.

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ALD-52 (LSD) microdosing

ALD-52 Microdosing Journal: A Lifesaver for OCD Management | Gentle and Transformative Effects | Surreal Experiences and Enhanced Consciousness

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Balance

Embark on a journey to find balance and transform your life. Discover the keys to overcoming challenges, cultivating awareness, and unlocking your true potential. Explore practical techniques and valuable insights on the path to personal growth. Take the first step towards a balanced mind and a fulfilled life. #PersonalGrowth #Balance #Transformation

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Delusion

Unraveling the Power of Delusion: From Beliefs to Vipassana Meditation

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My First Entry

Healing as a driving force: Navigating C-PTSD recovery and addiction in a journey of self-discovery.

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